A short introduction
Friday, September 4, 2009
Since I've been home the past 4 weeks I've felt my brain turn into jelly. So, my solution is to try to stretch this muscle a little more and hopefully tone it back into shape. So bear with my musings and thoughts, I'm sure they will come out lacking any sense of fluidity or coherency at first.
Time is such a fickle concept and one that wrestle with on a daily basis. I feel like I spend much of my "time" saying how much of it I am lacking to get x,y and z done. Enter the paradox, the more time I waste on thinking and wishing I had more time to deposit in my "need to get this done" bank, I could have already completed x, y and z! Why is this follow through such a hard task, why is it easier to ponder the loss of time than to actually use the time allowed to get things done? I really wont understand the logic and I'm probably confusing myself (and you) on this point. I just wasted 2 minutes writing about time! hehe.
So basically, I think I'm done with wishing how much more time I could have and am going to instead, focus on using the time I have more constructively. I guess that was the point of the previous paragraph!
In this vein, I have so enjoyed the one on one time I have been able to spend with Cali and I really value the bond we seemed to have formed these past few weeks. I am really going to miss her smiling face when I go back to work. But I know my dad misses her and I can totally understand why. I mean I missed her before, but I it was definitely more acute this time around... its the first time I have spent time with her 24/7 since I went back to work. And wow, I didnt expect to feel like I was missing out! She is just an absolute joy and I can't for the life of me fathom what I did to deserve such a blessing.
I never thought being a mom was what I wanted to do... but wow, being a Mom has opened me up to so many things. My moms group, the friends I have made and the experiences that I have been able to give Cali have been priceless. I really love my Chesapeake Mommies (shameless plug!). :)
So I'll conclude with one last piece of advice - enjoy this journey, life is full of time - spend it well and dont wish it away. I am really going to try not to!
